


You can just bet your ass that  he likes it dirty

by KrazyForKurtbastian



Category: Kurtbastian - Fandom
Genre: Dirty Talk, Fluff, French, Friendship, M/M, Swearing, potential infidelity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-07
Updated: 2017-02-07
Packaged: 2018-09-22 16:51:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9616670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KrazyForKurtbastian/pseuds/KrazyForKurtbastian
Summary: Sebastian's dirty mouth earns him an unexpected reward.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [NikiJuly17th](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NikiJuly17th/gifts).



> Just a quick one shot for fun. I will return to my normal programming tomorrowish  
> Warning for explicit dirty talk.  
> Not really Blaine/Klaine friendly (no surprise there) 
> 
> Hope you enjoy xxx

Sebastian Smythe strolled across the coffee shop with a large hot coffee in each hand and a smug smirk on his lips. He sat down, slouching in his timber chair opposite his warbler friend, Jeff Stirling. Sitting the two hot beverages on the table, he nudged one forward towards his companion. 

"Fucking decaf salted caramel soy non fat latte," Sebastian rolled his eyes as he openly took a hip flask of Covesiour cognac from his inside blazer pocket and poured some into his unsweetened long black. "Can't believe you made me order that shit. Talk about embarrassing. Is there even any fucking coffee in that damn thing?"

"Don't knock it until you've tried it," Jeff narrowed his eyes, watching Seb return the flask to his pocket as he savoured the first sip of his sweet syrupy drink. "What has you looking so amused?"

"True love," Seb gestured across the space to the cute gay couple who sat by the window whispering and holding hands. They were sharing a piece of cheesecake as they studied together. "Just look at those two. Aren't they adorable?" His tone oozed sarcasm.

"Leave Klaine alone," Jeff giggled. "They look so happy. I think it's cute."

"Klaine?" Sebastian forced a chuckle.

"Yes," Jeff nodded, watching enviously as Blaine fed Kurt a small mouthful of lemon cheesecake from his fork. "I want a boyfriend."

"No, you don't," Sebastian shook his head. "Don't be insane. You just need to get laid." He looked back over at the now giggling couple. "So do they."

"I'm pretty certain they are," Jeff narrowed his eyes. "They've been together almost a year."

"Nope," Sebastian sipped his coffee. "Definitely not. They positively wreak of virginity. It's hilarious, absolute shame too. I mean Blaine is kinda cute even if he's as dumb as pile of bricks but the boyfriend, now he is fucking hot. A snarky, smart mouthed, little bitch, just how I like them."

"Kurt?" Jeff choked, spluttering on his coffee, looking shocked. "But Kurtie is the nicest guy you'll ever meet."

"I've only met him the once yesterday. Is that his name?" Sebastian shrugged, as if names were of no consequence to him. "It's the nice ones you need to watch. They're always the kinkiest. I'd bet my Porsche that Blaine Anderson is way out of his depth with that one."

Jeff laughed softly, feeling slightly uncomfortable with Sebastian's assessment of Kurt and Blaine. "Blaine loves him," he weakly defended his friend. "Isn't that the main thing?"

"Yeah sure. Whatever," Sebastian scoffed, obviously completely unconvinced. "Come on. We should go and say Hi," Sebastian urged Jeff, keen to get closer to Kurt. 

Jeff nodded sceptically as he stood up with his coffee in hand. "Please be polite," He warned pleadingly. "These guys are my friends and I'd like it to stay that way."

"When am I ever not polite?" Sebastian feigned innocence, following Jeff as he weaved between tables to join the couple.

Kurt looked less than impressed, moving his history book a little to the side as Sebastian pulled a chair from an adjacent table and sat down too closely beside him. "Sebastian," he sneered in acknowledgement before offering Jeff a cheerful smile and a hi.

"Hello Blaine," Sebastian winked suggestively at the short brunette, completely ignoring Kurt. "You look good today babe."

"Aww thank you," Blaine giggled, blushing furiously as he lapped up the insincere praise. 

Kurt rolled his eyes. Looking surly, he put down his pen and took another bite of the cheesecake. "How are you Jeffie?" He turned his back on Sebastian to chat to the blonde.

"Good, really good," Jeff nodded happily. "Busy. Lacrosse, study, Warblers...you know how it is."

"I do," Kurt agreed, nibbling away at his dessert. "New Directions, study," he gestured to the books on the table. "And I've just started my own fashion blog 'Kurt's Kloset'. Closet spelt with a k."

"You should check it out," Blaine suggested supportively to both the Dalton boys. "It's so cool."

"I'll take a look," Jeff promised as Sebastian sighed, looking bored. "Think I'll grab myself a muffin, do you want anything Seb?"

"Do they have eclairs?" Seb shrugged spreading out a little, daringly resting his knee barely against Kurt's. "There was this amazing patisserie around the corner from our estate in Paris. They made the most mouthwatering chocolate and rum eclairs. Never tasted anything like them here." Seb took a large gulp of his laced coffee wondering why Kurt hadn't pulled his leg away as he watched Jeff proceed to the counter for their baked goods. 

"I keep forgetting you lived in Paris," Blaine  
gushed in awe. "I'd love to visit there, maybe take Kurt one day. I'd need to learn the language first though. I love how it sounds. I mean is there anything sexier than French?"

"You'd love Paris," Sebastian raised an eyebrow at Kurt before turning back to Blaine. He spoke to the shorter teen in fast fluent French, his accent flawless. "I know you think I want in your pants but you couldn't be more wrong. Honestly I think you're an absolute idiot who obviously has no idea of what sexy even is. I jerked off three times last night just thinking about the breathtaking creature sitting here beside me. Imagining him, not you, down on his knees for me with his stunning cock sucking lips wrapped about my hard throbbing dick."

"Right," Blaine giggled cluelessly, assuming that Sebastian was complimenting him. Kurt sat silently scowling as Sebastian continued.

"I wonder how you'd feel if you knew how desperately I want to rip his painted on skinny jeans from his sweet perky ass and pound into him right here over this table while you watch," Sebastian continued, smiling brightly as he covered Blaine's hand with his own for emphasis.

Blaine blushed wildly, pulling his hand back from Sebastian's grasp way too slowly for Kurt's liking. Kurt frowned at his boyfriend. He returned his attentions to his study, seemingly ignoring Sebastian's French babble as he wrote in his note book.

"You can just bet your ass he likes it dirty and that's exactly how I'd give it to him, so hard, so deep. It's making me hard, just thinking about how beautiful he'd look shooting a load just for me with my name spilling from his pretty mouth. I'd just about kill to see that, to hold his cock in my hand, to taste it. I'd make him feel so good," Sebastian leaned in close to Blaine, his seductive voice dripping with arousal.

"Such a pretty language," Blaine smiled, looking at Kurt as he leaned back in his chair away from Sebastian.

"Très chaud," Kurt agreed with a smirk at Sebastian. "C'est choquant les choses que les gens disent quand ils ne pensent pas que vous pouvez les comprendre."

("Very hot," Kurt agreed with a smirk at Sebastian. "It's shocking the things people say when they don't think you can understand them.")

"What?" Sebastian gasped, looking mortified as he returned to speaking English. "You speak French?"

"Just a little," Kurt was throughly amused by Sebastian's awkward squirming. He scribbled something on the corner of his page. As Jeff returned to the table temporarily distracting Blaine, Kurt tore the page, handing the small piece of paper with his number on it discreetly to Sebastian under the table. "Appelle-moi," he mumbled quietly "Vous pouvez me faire confiance quand je dis que la réalité sera beaucoup mieux que même votre fantaisie la plus folle chérie."

(Call me. You can trust me when I say the reality will be way better than even your wildest fantasy sweetheart.)

"What are you talking about?" Blaine interrupted sourly, suddenly feeling a little jealous that Kurt was stealing Sebastian's attention.

"They're just chatting about the French Revolution," Jeff lied, choosing to cover for the flirting pair after over hearing the end of their conversation. 

"Cool," Blaine smiled, totally unaware. "We've been studying that in history this semester. It's so interesting."

"Very interesting," Sebastian nodded, unable to believe his luck as he stuffed Kurt's phone number into his pant's pocket. He'd be calling that number tonight, nothing was surer. By the weekend Kurt's fine ass would be his and Blaine Anderson would not have one fucking clue. "Fun!"


End file.
